Choose one to love, then love the one you chose!
Engaging in a new relationship is always exciting as everything’s easy like Sunday morning in the early months. But as time passes, one realizes that building a long lasting relationship takes more than walks in the park, saucy talks and that dizzying sensation of being swept off your feet when looking into your lover’s eyes.
Building a healthy and mature relationship takes time, effort, involvement, communication and the willingness to share your most intimate thoughts, feelings and fears with your significant other. Unless you’re ready to open your heart and let your partner see you as you are, you shouldn’t start investing in a relationship, as love takes two.
THE THREE PILLARS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. COMMUNICATION They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but this rule doesn’t really apply to relationships. One of the surest ways to get engaged in the wrong relationship is to pick the most attractive partner possible and just skip the wonderful early stages when the two of you should just sit, talk and get to know each other.
Communication doesn’t mean small talk, although it does have to start somewhere and talking about your hobbies can be a good starting point. But if all your discussions start and end with weather predictions, then you’re definitely not on the good road. If you’re really interested in a person, leave your shyness behind, be open and let your true self be seen.
2. RESPECT You can love and be loved in return if you don’t show respect to your partner. Just like you, that person has feelings, fears, desires, dreams and stories from the past, so try to make the effort of not pushing things to the limit and of not asking uncomfortable questions. Respect the boundaries that exist, understand their perspective and let it be known that you’re not there to judge. You’re there to build a strong relationship. You’re there because you care and you already accepted that person for what they are!
You may not agree on all points but as long as you’re ready to find a way to compromise, things can work perfectly between the two of you. Stay rational and mature when it comes to conflicts and talk about your problems the moment they occur; this way you’ll both understand what makes the other unhappy and what aspects of your relationship or personalities need to be improved. .
3. TRUST If you’re absolutely sure you’re next to the right one, show your trust by asking for opinions and pieces of advice when it comes to tough decisions and by sharing your stories and past experiences, your dreams and failures as well. Be supportive and encourage your partner, as this shows you trust the person that they are now, regardless of their past. Apologize when you hurt their feelings and show that what you most want is to build a strong foundation of trust, respect and appreciation.
Be honest. Don’t try to change your partner’s preferences, tastes and opinions, as you two have to maintain your separate identities. Just because you’re together doesn’t mean that you have to have the same likes or go out with the same people. A healthy relationship is the one that gives you the freedom of staying who you are while motivating you to become the best version of yourself!
Is your motivation the right one? These aren’t good reasons for getting involved in a relationship!
EVERYONE HAS A LOVER AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS STILL SINGLE.
TIP: Instead of wasting time complaining about your status, why not invest your energy in activities that can help you grow? You’ll have so much more to offer when the right person appears in your life!
I DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO ABOUT MY PROBLEMS.
TIP: Your lover will be your best friend indeed, but one needs to have other friends as well, for a healthy relationship. So instead of looking for a lover, why not dedicate time to your old friends?
EVERYONE PRESSURES ME TO GET MARRIED.
TIP: Marriage is not for everyone, which is why 1 in 2 relationships ends up in divorce. What’s worse: being single and investing in yourself, or being in an unhappy marriage, just to please your relatives and friends?
By Andreea Macoveiciuc