Finding the right person to love and marry is one of the greatest challenges in living. Ask any single male or female and they will tell you how difficult it is to find that special someone.
The concept of marriage and lifelong commitment between two people is becoming a thing of the past. According to clinical psychologist Neil Warren, for every 10 marriages occurring in America today, five will end in divorce. The other five will stay married, but in varying degrees of disharmony.
Only two out of three will achieve what is called true “intimacy” in the relationship–the special bond that occurs between two separate individuals, a oneness that no one can come between.
During my parents’ generation, couples married because that was the way two people in love could live together. Marriage was forever and divorce was an option only in the most drastic circumstances. Today you can get anything marriage offers quicker and cheaper and without commitments.
We have become a generation of gratification seekers. We’ve misinterpreted the experts’ advice about finding happiness, and we think that it means doing whatever we want as long as it makes us feel good.
Sex is no longer a special experience shared by two people who love each other. Sex has become as common on the first date as a goodnight kiss. It’s all about pleasure with no strings attached.
The relationship you have with your spouse has an immense affect on your children. Your relationship is what your children will base their beliefs about love and marriage on.
Marriage is about cherishing what you bring to the relationship and caring for someone without expecting anything in return. It’s about possibilities and opportunities that you can share when you learn to accept each other and respect each other.
Relationships are about giving without keeping score as to who has given more. When two people go into a relationship with this kind of mind set, they will be able to handle all the ups and downs that occur during the length of a marriage.
In marriage, like in life, there will be hard times and sadness. A couple must strive to always work though these times together. To abandon your partner when times are tough is never giving your relationship the opportunity to reach the depth of love that can be shared by two people.
A happy marriage is not only a gift you give yourself, it’s also the most significant and meaningful gift you can give your children.
In his book “From Beginning To End,” Robert Fulghum describes a wedding ceremony he attended. The minister ended the ceremony blessing the couple’s union with these words:
“May the sun of many days and years shine upon you. May the love you have for one another grow and hold you close. May the good true light within you guide your way on together. May your dreams come true, and when they don’t, may new dreams arise. And long, long years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say: Because of you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live–because of you I have become the person I longed to be.’”
Maria Luisa Salcines is a freelance writer, certified parent educator and parent coach with The International Network for Children and Families in Redirecting Children’s Behavior, Redirecting for a Cooperative Classroom, and Redirecting Corporate America.