Being a good dad doesn’t mean allowing your kids to do whatever they want, whenever they want. It means setting the correct limits and knowing when to say “no” while allowing your kids to develop healthy social behaviors and grow into self-confident, well-educated and respectful adults.
Father’s Day is of top importance for the men in our lives as it’s the day when dads take a break from routine and become the center of attention. It’s the day when their accomplishments and qualities are highlighted, when they’re rewarded and appreciated more for their parenting style. Father’s Day is about paying homage to dads and it’s the best occasion to celebrate fatherhood!
But when you’re the dad, this day isn’t only about celebrating – it’s also an occasion to reflect more on your parenting skills, to analyze your kids’ paths, to see how they perceive you and how your attitude, knowledge and love reflects in or influences their characters. This special day is the best occasion to ask yourself what type of dad you are and start fixing those aspects that aren’t perfect in your relationship with your family and kids!
THE THREE TYPES OF DADS
The authoritarian dad is the strict and firm individual who limits the activities and behaviors of his kids in an unyielding manner and expects them to respect his decisions, regardless of who’s involved in that specific situation. Authoritarian dads expect the respect of their kids and their obedience and they’re completely inflexible when it comes to changing their decisions based on their kids’ desires.
There are, of course, good aspects of being this type of dad. Especially with little kids who have lots of questions, curiosities and requirements, it’s always good to know when to say “no.” Still, if you’re this type of dad, try not to be too strict with your children, as they need a father not a dictator. Listen to their questions and wishes and when you forbid them something, provide your kids an explanation.
The second type of dad, the permissive one, is exactly the opposite: he sets no limits, whether referring to kid’s eating habits, sleeping schedule or play buddies. The permissive dad allows his kids to do anything, as he wants them to be happy, but the problem is that these children are more likely to develop behavior problems and to be disorganized, selfish and spoiled, simply because they believe that they can have anything whenever they want and can do whatever they want without being punished.
The third and ideal type of dad is the authoritative dad, as it’s exactly between the previously mentioned extremes. The authoritative parent knows when to say “yes” and when to forbid his kids from doing something. He’s flexible but knows when to set limits. He’s involved in educating his kids and shows them love, understanding and warmth but is also firm when his children need to respect his decision.
The authoritative dad explains his decisions and listens to his kids’ proposals and ideas, helping them develop not only their self-control but also confidence and positive relationships and social behaviors. Kids raised by this type of dad are the happiest and the best educated, so if you’re not this type of dad, perhaps it’s time to start making some changes and improve your relationship with your children!
By Andreea Macoveiciuc