how-to-find-the-best-pediatricianThe relationship you develop with your child’s pediatrician will last decades, require honesty,  trust and good communication. Here are some tips on how you can find the doctor that fits you and your child’s needs best.

Ask for an interview with the pediatrician before you commit. I love seeing new parents and understand that after they interview me, some will choose my practice and others won’t. If you can, schedule an interview with a potential pediatrician and ask important questions (see below.)

Ask friends in the medical field who they recommend. Professionals in the medical field know one another’s reputation. The bad ones get singled out pretty quickly- usually on the basis of a medical mistake, not personality. So if you have a friend who works in a hospital, ask him/her who they recommend.

Choose a doctor who shares your views on life.

It is crucial that you feel supported and encouraged by your pediatrician because you are a far bigger influence over your child’s health and wellness than she is. If you want to breast feed until your baby is 3 years old, for instance, it’s important to feel supported by your doctor, not maligned. On the other hand, if you can’t breast-feed or choose not to, you should not feel shamed by your doctor. You are in charge of feeding your baby, not your doctor and you must always get the help that you need.

Your doctor should respect that you make final decisions.  The best thing that I can do as a pediatrician is to teach, support and encourage parents because they- not me- hold the power in a child’s life. This means that I must be open to listening to their ideas (even if I don’t agree) and respect their decisions. When you have an open relationship with your doctor, you will trust one another enough to weigh options and come to an agreement on what’s best for your child.

One caveat: This is particularly true when it comes to immunizations.

Some parents don’t want their children immunized and all pediatricians want to immunize. But- we doctors are being told by insurance companies what we can and can’t do. For instance, many insurance companies withhold payment for the visit if we don’t immunize because they feel we are delivering “substandard” care. That’s why many doctors won’t take children in their practices unless parents agree to immunize. This means that it is harder to find doctors who truly let parents be in charge. This is frustrating for parents and pediatricians.

Ask about office policy when your child is sick.

This sounds silly, but some medical practices don’t leave enough room in their schedules to see sick children so they end up going to Urgent Cares instead of coming to see their doctor. At the first visit ask if your baby will be seen on a day he is sick and make sure your doctor says yes. If not, go elsewhere.

Ask if you can have one main doctor and visit his partners only when necessary. I feel that it is very important for doctors to get to know patients very well especially if a chronic illness like diabetes, asthma, autism, etc. is involved. A doctor who knows your child really well will save you and him a lot of testing, trouble and headache. Some practices want children to see rotating doctors in the practice but I don’t feel this is best for you or your children. Find a doctor that will commit to seeing your child for all well visits but when your child is sick, realize he may need to see the doctor on call.

Ask who will help you at 3 am. If your child is sick after hours, make sure that the person you call will be well informed and knowledgeable. Most practices have doctors, PA’s or Nurse Practitioners take call but there are some practices that don’t.

Make sure your doctor is a good listener!

You know your child better than anyone and if you take your child to the doctor, and you say something’s wrong, then the doctor needs to find out what it is. Period. If you feel that your doctor listens well, takes your questions seriously, then he’s a good one. I’ll never forget a mother who brought in her 2 year old saying the something was “off.”

After examining him, I thought he might have an intestinal flu. But I looked at his mother and she looked at me and shook her head. She knew we were missing something. I asked the boy to come into the hallway so I could watch him walk. He didn’t look right. I sent him for a CAT scan and within one hour, he was in surgery for appendicitis (very rare in 2 year olds)- fortunately his appendix hadn’t burst yet. If I hadn’t listened to his mother, I might have missed it.

You may not find the perfect pediatrician but you can find one who will meet your needs and take good care of your child. The relationship you have with your pediatrician is an intimate and very personal one requiring trust on your part and his part. So when you finally choose, I encourage you to trust your gut. You’ll know who you can trust and who you can’t.

By Meg Meeker, MD

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Dr. Meg is the country’s leading authority on parenting, teens, and children’s health.

Like you, she has know the frustration of arguing with kids, struggling to discipline, and worrying about whether or not they’ll turn out to be great adults. So whatever you’re feeling today, She has been there.